Tuesday, July 6, 2010

behaving badly

Meet Gunter.

Gunter is a
Black Forest gnome from the toadstool clan. Black Forest gnomes are happy, helpful creatures who like beer.

Here's the problem: Gunter can't HANDLE beer.

So I sat Gunter down and we had a little talk about the get together we were having over the 4th. We talked about how much beer he could have.....which is NONE. We talked about the bad gnomes here and here and how he had better not behave that way.
Gunter gladly agreed and told me that if I just made sure to have some good music, sparkling conversation and yummy snacks, he would be on his best behavior.

Gunter is a liar.

Shortly after our guests arrived, I saw him doing THIS!

And THIS! I didn't even KNOW he liked margaritas!

Then he started hitting on the ladies

Then the complaining started....

He did not like the music because we didn't have any good drinking songs.

He did not like the spinach dip because he doesn't like the color green.

He did not like the sparkling conversation because no other gnomes were present. Now in his defense, he did request I bring Gretchen gnome because he had the hots for her.
When invited, she politely declined saying she had a 'headache....'
(When pressed after the party, she admitted that she KNEW Gunter was a liar. I asked why she didn't warn me and she said "ALL gnomes are liars." She was REALLY adamant about it. I got the feeling she'd been hurt in a bad gnome relationship so I just let it go.....yikes.)

I decided he had gone too far and shoved him into my birdcage for a much needed time out.

After much begging and pleading, I let him out...only to catch him later looking for leftovers!

The next morning I found Gunter snuggling up to Ginger. He apologized profusely and said he would never, ever, ever do it again.

But I think Gunter is a liar. What do you think?

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