Saturday, August 14, 2010

tragedy...

The other day we were talking about funny things the kids had done in the past....which brings me to this post. The star of this story is Curly Girl. (Ripstick Boy's story comes later....)

Here is our star at the beach....right before this tragedy occurred...so happy. Look at that sweet little face *sigh*

Nothing sinister in that smile. Back then she even had corrective glasses.

She was about 5 years old here.



We had traveled to see family in Florida. CG had developed a bad cold. CG already had raging allergies.

cold + allergies = a LOT of the green stuff.

This green stuff tends to fly out of CG's nose at high velocity when she sneezes.
Now, as a 5 year old, CG hadn't yet learned how to scream "thar she blows!" loud enough for us to get out of the way. Plus, sometimes, you know...sneezes sneak up on you.

We were heading home after Christmas in Florida and were in line at a McDonald's bathroom. There are tons of people so the bathroom line is loooooong.
Curly Girl is beside & slightly behind me because the woman in front of me kept backing up and stepping on me. I had moved CG so she wouldn't get stomped on. Little did I know CG was about to get that lady back for stepping on me. By sneezing. TWICE.

At the sound of the first sneeze I dove into my purse to grab a tissue....because I KNEW what she was capable of.
Curly Girl says meekly. "Mommy, I need a tissue." I'm buying time here because I had a BIG purse and hadn't found my pack o' tissues, so said "uh, no, you don't....there is nothing on your face"...and went back tissue diving. ( I mean, she really had nothing on HER face. )

But then the lady in front of me said VERY loudly:

"ITS ON MY FOOT"

at this, every single person in line turned to look at her foot.

Her tanned foot was clad in festive flip flops with a big green bow goober the size of Cincinnati. To be precise. The green giant goober was on the flip flop, her heel...and the floor.

It was reminiscent of "The BLOB"...remember that movie? Yeah, sorta like that...just enveloping everything.

By now I've handed a wad of tissues to CG and turn to hand the lady a tissue too. Then I look at her face....you know, the lady who's foot is now covered in a shiny mass of green goo. Her face is sort of beet red and she has on her angry eyes.

After seeing that face I decided to just wipe the ladies foot off myself...after all, I didn't want to DIE because of a ball of green goo. Plus, I couldn't say a word because I was afraid I would burst out laughing. I mean, come on...it WAS funny. (its always funny when it happens to someone else.)

I say I'm sorry and she glares at me....doesn't say a word....then she glares at Curly Girl. Who bursts into tears....gee thanks lady.

So now I'm irritated...no one has a right to be mad at a small child because of an involuntary snot rocket, am I right here? I'm right...no need to answer that.

Curly Girl wouldn't stop crying...which means she would soon have MORE snots rockets on deck...I didn't have THAT many tissues left.......

I straightened up and said "Oh honey, she isn't MAD at you, she knows you didn't do it on purpose." "You just sneezed...everyone sneezes sweetie".

Then I picked her up and glared at the lady. At this, the lady sort of smiled and turned around. We stayed in line out of necessity...there wasn't another place to stop for at least an hour and she had TO GO. So we stood in line, Curly Girl sniffling, me secretly cracking up... for another 10 minutes.
Finally, we used the bathroom and left the scene of the crime. I saw the lady outside POINTING at us as we dashed to the car.

Once inside, I burst out laughing.....I mean, you can't MAKE THIS STUFF UP! I swear, that lady probably ditched those flip flops and boiled her foot when she got home!

Now...I'm sure there are other equally hysterical but gross funny stories and I want to read them...I can always use a good laugh. So share.

12 comments:

jillytacy said...

That's too funny! Poor little Curly Girl! Sometimes grownups stink and don't see the humor in life.

momma rae said...

i love it!! some people are so ridiculous. sure, nobody wants green slime on their foot, but she was a child! i hope the bitty can laugh about it now.

val said...

oh yes, we laugh about it NOW!

Lindsay-ann said...

Hi Val
That's such a funny story. I am giggling here just imagining it. Cute picture of them on the beach. I am trying to think of a gross story. Well Jessica is quite messy and clumsy and once we were out for the day with some friends. They took us to some castle near where they live and it had been raining heavily. Jessica started running with the other kids around a small maze in the grounds of the castle. Suddenly her head disappeared from view and she had slipped into an enormous puddle of thick mud. She was completely covered in mud and looked like some kind of mud monster. We were all laughing so much. We had to take her back to our friends house and put all her clothes in the wash. We still laugh about it now.
Hope you are having a lovely Saturday.
Lindsay
x

Carla said...

Poor little CG. Mean old lady. Funny, funny, funny.

Robin (rsislandcrafts) said...

Great story! I love stories like that especially when the kids are older. Nice ammunition for when friends are over :)

queen of everything said...

poor lil thing. i really love when adults act like children. i had a good friend who came to visit when i was over at another friend's house. my visiting friend asked if she could hold my friend's son because he wanted to be held. as soon as she puts him on her lap he had a massive diaper explosion of the poo kind. we all laughed heartily as we washed the clothes.

Look What The Kat Dragged In said...

I don't know Val, that is pretty gross, LOL buy you handled it with such grace!

Becky said...

So glad I wasn't eating or drinking as I read this! I cannot stand backer upper stomp on me people in line! My pocketbook has been known to accidentally whap a few of 'em. Ol big butt backer upper got what she needed with CG's sneeze.

Oh do I have gross stories! And for some reason dinner time is when my kids love to re-tell 'em! About a year ago KatDaughter and I sat with JordanSon & a bunch of 20 something year old "boys" as they recounted poopy/fart stories. At the outdoor table of a local restaurant. We were all in tears laughing soooooo hard.

Rannyjean said...

Ever the sweet lady you are, I would have left her to wash the goo off her own foot...but CG will never forget that day!

Zoƫ said...

Too funny. Poor CG, but I am sure it did not scare her for life and it gave both you and that lady a good story that I hope she is laughing about now.:)

Melinda Cornish said...

ya gotta love some good juju......

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