tragedy...

The other day we were talking about funny things the kids had done in the past....which brings me to this post. The star of this story is Curly Girl. (Ripstick Boy's story comes later....)

Here is our star at the beach....right before this tragedy occurred...so happy. Look at that sweet little face *sigh*

Nothing sinister in that smile. Back then she even had corrective glasses.

She was about 5 years old here.


We had traveled to see family in Florida. CG had developed a bad cold. CG already had raging allergies.

cold + allergies = a LOT of the green stuff.

This green stuff tends to fly out of CG's nose at high velocity when she sneezes.
Now, as a 5 year old, CG hadn't yet learned how to scream "thar she blows!" loud enough for us to get out of the way. Plus, sometimes, you know...sneezes sneak up on you.

We were heading home after Christmas in Florida and were in line at a McDonald's bathroom. There are tons of people so the bathroom line is loooooong.
Curly Girl is beside & slightly behind me because the woman in front of me kept backing up and stepping on me. I had moved CG so she wouldn't get stomped on. Little did I know CG was about to get that lady back for stepping on me. By sneezing. TWICE.

At the sound of the first sneeze I dove into my purse to grab a tissue....because I KNEW what she was capable of.
Curly Girl says meekly. "Mommy, I need a tissue." I'm buying time here because I had a BIG purse and hadn't found my pack o' tissues, so said "uh, no, you don't....there is nothing on your face"...and went back tissue diving. ( I mean, she really had nothing on HER face. )

But then the lady in front of me said VERY loudly:

"ITS ON MY FOOT"

at this, every single person in line turned to look at her foot.

Her tanned foot was clad in festive flip flops with a big green bow goober the size of Cincinnati. To be precise. The green giant goober was on the flip flop, her heel...and the floor.
It was reminiscent of "The BLOB"...remember that movie? Yeah, sorta like that...just enveloping everything.

By now I've handed a wad of tissues to CG and turn to hand the lady a tissue too. Then I look at her face....you know, the lady who's foot is now covered in a shiny mass of green goo. Her face is sort of beet red and she has on her angry eyes.

After seeing that face I decided to just wipe the ladies foot off myself...after all, I didn't want to DIE because of a ball of green goo. Plus, I couldn't say a word because I was afraid I would burst out laughing. I mean, come on...it WAS funny. (its always funny when it happens to someone else.)

I say I'm sorry and she glares at me....doesn't say a word....then she glares at Curly Girl. Who bursts into tears....gee thanks lady.

So now I'm irritated...no one has a right to be mad at a small child because of an involuntary snot rocket, am I right here? I'm right...no need to answer that.

Curly Girl wouldn't stop crying...which means she would soon have MORE snots rockets on deck...I didn't have THAT many tissues left.......

I straightened up and said "Oh honey, she isn't MAD at you, she knows you didn't do it on purpose." "You just sneezed...everyone sneezes sweetie".

Then I picked her up and glared at the lady. At this, the lady sort of smiled and turned around. We stayed in line out of necessity...there wasn't another place to stop for at least an hour and she had TO GO. So we stood in line, Curly Girl sniffling, me secretly cracking up... for another 10 minutes.
Finally, we used the bathroom and left the scene of the crime. I saw the lady outside POINTING at us as we dashed to the car.

Once inside, I burst out laughing.....I mean, you can't MAKE THIS STUFF UP! I swear, that lady probably ditched those flip flops and boiled her foot when she got home!

Now...I'm sure there are other equally hysterical but gross funny stories and I want to read them...I can always use a good laugh. So share.